Everlasting

Everlasting
Your Light will shine
when all else fades

why do I fear fading?
as my wick sputters and
the shadows close in
no glow of mine can illumine
the purple and indigo enveloping me

but still, I try to avoid
the death of me
gasping for air
grasping for earth
craving light,
breathing in and clutching
only liquid air, liquid earth
liquid blackness

i have faced this death before
it is only painful while I face it
and dread it
and try to prolong its inevitability

it hurts
this effort to fan the dying ember of me
into full flame
the full flame I once was

only now I remember I was never
more than a spark
you were the flame inside me

you do not, will not, compete
your blinding effervescence waits
unseen

"I will wait" you say
"that I may be gracious to you"
you wait for my death
my surrender
my willingness to crawl back
onto the altar

i will die
and Everlasting,
your light will shine in me
only when all else fades.