Poets, Kittens and Rain

"If your everyday life seems poor, don't blame it; blame yourself;

admit to yourself that you are not enough of a poet to call forth its riches, because for the creator there is no poverty and no poor indifferent place."

Rainer Marie Wilkes

I admit it, today and many days I'm not enough of a poet. My shoulders that keep inching up toward my ears tell me that is today's truth. The lack of enthusiasm for the day, my job, my future tells me that I am no creator.

Relax shoulders.You and I both know it's not true. So tell your story of frustration this morning. The rain we've so needed has been blissfully dripping for fifteen hours with at least another 24 hours predicted. A radio guy called it a "mess" but a caller said, "It's not a mess! It's a blessing!" The radio guy agreed but then called it an "inconvenience."

"It's not an inconvenience!" the caller said. "It's a blessing! The answer to our prayers!" I feel that way about rain. And I am blessed with the luxury to decide when and whether I go into the office on this rainy day.

What then? It's probably about the house we're about to buy. The roof and the foundation that need work that the insurance company is balking on. How do I move forward to buy a house I don't want to live in? I've been doing the Isle of View Experiment on it and it has definitely lessened my frustration with the lack of space and shortcomings of the house, but.... Wait! I know. I'll think about what I DO love:

I love my purple flowered armchair tucked into the back corner of the dining room where I do my reading and praying...and sometimes working, when I choose to work at home. Where I'm sitting now.

From here, I can see my purple cabinet. It was my grandmother's, salvaged from their "camp" house, the old house she had lived in as a child that had been moved to some property they had outside of Centerville, Texas and used for camping. It had eventually become a storage facility for stuff they didn't want. After her death, I called dibbs on the faded white cabinet, missing its screens, that had once held towels in her bathroom. No one fought me for it. To everyone else, it was just an ugly, broke-down cabinet. I painted it eggplant and put silver handles and knobs on it. It may be just the eyes of love through which I view it that thinks it looks very Pottery Barn-ish, but I guess that's what love does.

If I can call forth the riches of this poor old thing that adds a nostalgic bit of storage to my too-tiny kitchen, there is a poet in me capable of doing the same with this house. It has just not yet gotten inspired with its subject matter. It will though, because a creator never sees "poverty or a poor indifferent place." It always sees a resource for creation. And deep down, I am a poet. Not a very good one, a poet short on time and money, but a poet nonetheless.

Some more coffee and a little breakfast. Listening to the rain while I get back to the challenge of coming up with a company slogan using three words Corporate mandated I must include. Smiling at the "fresh" kitten that pops up every time I write 100 words (I've seen 6 so far in the little word editor I'm using called Written? Kitten!).

By the time, I sign off, I'll see the 7th, and that's too many words for a blog post, but sometimes you have to ramble a little to waken your inner poet.

And.....

There's my kitten!

Isle of View Part 2

Sometime soon, I'll share with you what my first few weeks on the Isle of View Experiment have been like. I've learned SO much!

Before I do that, I want to explain something about how it works, so you'll know what I'm talking about later.

Do you remember that verse where Paul says,

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. [and so on for another few verses] (Romans 7:14-25)

When we read that verse (if we're able to read it all the way through), we all say, "I totally get that."

What Paul is referring to is a part of himself, but not his true self. Our true selves are made in the image of God. They're what we refer to when we say, "If you could only know her like I know her, you'd love her too." The other person doesn't know our friend's essence. He knows her ego.

The ego/natural man is a separate part of us that controls and is controlled by our minds. The ego doesn't know how to love. It's selfish and fearful. It wants to want more than it actually wants. That's why the satisfaction from getting things it demanded can have such a short shelf-life. It can't let you be happy for long; it's always pointing out the negative in every situation. And man, can it be nasty! I know I've certainly been shocked at some of the stuff my mind has come up with that was totally contradictory to who I "am."

The good news is that any time you want, you can step outside of ego and into your true self (a.k.a. "heart," the spiritual man, the essence of God) where he has poured out his love (Romans 5:5). It's surprisingly easy to do.

This is all becoming clear to me as I recall a time I was crying and suddenly--I don't know how--I was separate from the sadness and watched my ego crying, feeling nothing but intrigue. "Why is she crying like this? Her heart is broken, but it's obviously going to be ok, because I'm over here and I'm fine." As if realizing that I was no longer buying into the heartbreak, she peeked out from behind her hands that covered her face. She saw that the jig was up and grinned and the whole thing was over. I couldn't have told you later what it was about because essence keeps no account of wrong. Ego not only makes a list and checks it twice, it makes duplicate copies and frames one.

I remember another time I (ego) was angry but my true self immediately took hold. I wanted to stay mad but I couldn't. I didn't know at the time what made that shift but it definitely felt like an out of body experience.

If you don't identify or agree with ego, she can't keep up the drama. You have to think of her like she's your child throwing a fit in the supermarket. Not engaging can be the most effective strategy. (This is not the same as disconnecting, which is another ego trick.)

And here's the interesting part: Both facets of you cannot be identified with or seen at the same time. If you're loving, ego has to leave. And she knows it. That's why she fights you on this. But if you're in ego, you can't love. If you think you're loving while you're in ego, it's only because everything is going well or the person you love is giving you what your ego needs. Wait until something shifts and you'll realize your "love" for that person is not quite as sweet-feeling. Essence love does not need others to please it or be like it in order to feel love. It allows everyone to be who they are and isn't perturbed by that.

Think of 1 Corinthians 13 as a reality check. If you're feeling/doing the opposite of any of the things he says love is (kind, patient, not boastful, etc.), you're in ego.

As you ponder this, you can probably look back at your life and your relationships and easily identify which self was calling the shots at different times.

Isle of View, that place apart from pain with the x-ray view of everything, can only be maintained while you are in essence. And I learned this week, essence must be cared for and fed with God's Word, silence, and solitude. You can't operate this love just from strength of will. Strength of will is, after all, ego. 

Ego is a clever character and once you see her, you'll be astonished at how she has controlled you all this time. Stay tuned to learn how you can make her your servant!


Have you had any experience with this or am I schizophrenic?

Isle of View

If you're a Mad Gab fan, you might have recognized that "Isle of View" is another way of spelling "I Love You."

I've got an experiment going in this new year. I'm applying love to every single thing that confronts me, whether it's a physical pain, an annoyance, a disapproving thought, a mean person, a challenge I can't figure out, a broken windshield or a bill I can't afford to pay.

If "the love of God has been poured out in hearts" (Romans 5:5), then we're already overflowing with all we need, but we don't experience that flow (which feels like happiness and power) because we're busy dwelling in frustration, fear, worry, resistance, disapproval, etc. Removing those thoughts makes room for the love that's already there. And what if love is what makes all the great things we want in life happen?

In November I began having a stabbing pain in one spot on my knee. It only lasted 5-10 seconds, but it buckled me down everytime. Then this excruciating pain began to occur more and more often and to last longer, sometimes as long as a minute.

So I began to place my hand on the pain and say "I love you." Within seconds, it would stop hurting. Yes, I felt foolish, but I did this three or four times and it stopped happening. It hasn't hurt in at least a month. I tried it this morning with a sinus pain and that pain is now gone.

The success of that experiment has led me to start applying "I love you"s to everything that I previously disliked, hated, avoided, complained about, prayed about, worried about, got frustrated about. When those thoughts arise, I thank my mind for showing me where non-love exists within me and try to say, whisper or think "I love you." Sometimes, the best I can do is "I want to love you." Either way, the negative energy is dispelled. And even if the only change is in me, it's worth a try because all the negative responses--no matter how righteous or justified they seem--certainly aren't doing anything positive!

I will wait to share with you the crazy places I've been applying this love with equally crazy expecations of healing and change, but for now, just let me assure you that "I love you" really is an "Isle of View." It's a place apart from all the pain in the world. From there you can see everything from a 30,000 foot view, with fresh eyes, renewed hope and...well, LOVE!

Consider 2012 your Isle of View; the year you're going to see things differently by doing things differently. It's simple, easy, and free. It's just a decision away.

Go to there.

And stay there til something happens.

Happy New Year!